guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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