just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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