He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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