do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I am spending my child support on dildos
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
