What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I am one with the molecules
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
