She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
