so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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