then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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