sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
