wanna go halves on a baby?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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