I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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