I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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