Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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