I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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