you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
