I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
