I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
