Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
