my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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