Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
