the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
