Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
