You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
