Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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