Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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