I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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