There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize