Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
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