Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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