Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
