So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
This is the prime rib incident all over again
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
