Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Holy shit dude........stairs
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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