Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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