I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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