I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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