I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
