I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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