the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
