So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize