Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
