I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
