...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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