what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
