Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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