he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
