Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize