Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
