k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize