Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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