at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
