For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
