im having a threesome with these popsicles
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
