She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
