I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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