I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
