you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
