Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
